For this post to make any sense, you must read the previous one, "Honor and Remembrance."
Mom took the news about finding my uncle's burial place very well. She wants copies of everything I found online, to share with my father's two remaining siblings, who were much younger than Dad & his brothers who served in World War II. One of those siblings claimed to have seen my uncle walking along the street after the War, and has always refused to believe he died in Europe. Mom, Dad, my Dad's other sibs, and everyone else decided he had to have died.
Knowing a little bit means so much to me - and this uncle died long before I was born. It's surprising what an emotional difference it makes. For all of us, knowing when he died and where he's buried means being able to stop the idle speculation that has gone on for decades. There is something in us, in my family, that has never let go of wondering... And now? Do we stop wondering? Probably not. But we know more than we did before, and we can make an educated guess about where my uncle died, based on historical records of where his unit was on that date. There will still be some mystery - and I'm okay with that. It's a little miracle that we now know this.
It's interesting that this discovery came about because of a sermon on Memorial Day weekend. Memorial Day - which started to honor the Union dead from the Civil War. In the aftermath of that war, Clara Barton (raised a Universalist), founder of the Red Cross, worked hard to locate the graves of dead soldiers to ease the grief and pain of surviving families. And now, someone in my faith community came through with one piece of information that has helped my family. It's a nice little connection.
Today is Memorial Day. There are some excellent posts on other blogs, about the subject. You might want to check out the poems at PeaceBang's blog, or the story sharing at Keep the Faith, or “Never Again… Remember Me,” at Celestial Lands.
I preached yesterday at my home congregation. It was one of the most personal sermons I’ve ever preached. I spoke of the deep ambivalence I, and I daresay many UUs, feel about war and pacifism. I walked carefully, gingerly, through the whole service, beginning with a quote from Scott Simon’s novel, Pretty Birds; continuing through two readings – Julia Ward Howe’s “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” and a prayer from UUMomma (used with her permission); through a meditation on our highest values – I said we should remember our war dead, but asked that we also remember those who weren’t in the military who called upon this country to live up to its highest ideals, those who gave their lives in the civil rights movement.
We honored the veterans by ringing a bell for each name offered by members of the congregation. We sang “This is Our Song,” and ended with the responsive reading on “The Young Dead Soldiers” from our hymnal. People embraced me afterward with tears in their eyes.
So, here’s the personal part. I talked about my father and his brothers, who served in World War II. My father and one uncle came home, though both are now deceased. One uncle never came home. My parents always said they’d never been told where he had died, where he was buried, or even an accurate date of death for him. I spoke of always wondering about him, and of weeping at the Memorial to the Deported in Paris – for my uncle and all the servicemen and women who were lost, who never made it home, who may have families who don’t know where their loved one rests.
One of our friends talked to me after the service. She said she also had a family member who didn’t come home from a war, who was listed as missing in action. Last year one of her siblings found a database with a burial listing for the two world wars and the Korean War. She said she’d send me the link.
And, now, an amazing thing has happened. My uncle, lost over half a century ago, is found. He is buried in Luxembourg. I have his date of death. I have a record that says he was awarded a purple heart. I could, conceivably, visit his grave.
I will call my brother later today, and we will figure out how to tell our mother, and our father’s remaining siblings. What a Memorial Day this is turning out to be…
There’s been a lot of chatter on the blogosphere about the latest UUA ad campaign since it began. Some people like the new ads, others really hate them. I’ve even been a little snarky about it, myself.
Today, a discussion with some other UUs reminded me of other ad campaigns – and how they might have been viewed…
Does anyone remember: “The Religion that Puts Its Faith in You?”
That was an ad campaign in hmmm… I want to say the late 1980’s – early 1990’s for Unitarian Universalist churches. I saw it in the free parenting newspaper in our area; and I remember my dh saying at the time, “If we ever need a church, I’d want one like that.” My dh is a religious humanist and he liked the idea of a church putting its faith in the people. We signed the book at our first UU church in the early 1990’s, when our children were very small.
I think that ad campaign was very good for the time. A couple of the people I was talking with today really thought it was a dumb ad campaign. All I can say is, it got my family in the door – and who knows how many others. It had a message we needed to hear. Then there was “The Uncommon Denomination,” which I was pretty unaware of. I’m not sure when this was the catchphrase, either before my UU involvement or – more likely – during those years when it was all we could do to actually get the family up and dressed to go to church on Sundays. Paying attention to anything about church, outside that couple of hours once a week, required more energy than either of us had, after work and taking care of our growing family.
I also think this one is pretty good, we are different from most churches – although I can see definite class implications. Think Gilligan’s Island – can you imagine Thurston Howell the Third and Lovey as UUs? I bet you can. And I bet there are people who found their way to our doors, again due to an imperfect ad campaign. So now we have:
Is God Keeping You From Going to Church? -and- When in Doubt, Pray… When in Prayer, Doubt
I’ve decided that the slogans haven’t gotten much better, but neither have they gotten worse. The main problem in my opinion is that the ad copy is a lot of words on paper. No pictures (which The Religion that Puts Its Faith in You had), no people, just a lot of words. The ads are also far too easy to flip past while reading Time Magazine. I'm a UU & I'm looking for the ads - and I usually have to go through the magazine twice to find the ad.
Far more engaging are some of the video ads for Unitarian Universalism that I’ve seen on YouTube. Here's one example, and you can find others by going to YouTube and searching for Unitarian Universalism:
What’s my point? Well, I really have two – and they’ve been made in other places by other people.
First Point: “They Won’t All Become Religious Liberals.” My friend and colleague David Pyle can explain it all to you at his blog if you follow this link. I’m not sure what the expected “return” on this investment in advertising is – but we need to be realistic. Even with the best, most innovative and engaging ads, not everyone is going to fall in love with Unitarian Universalism. (Though a well-crafted TV spot couldn't hurt! Here's an example of one, from the UCC's campaign):
Second Point: There’s a little anecdote in the late Fred Rogers’ book, The World According to Mister Rogers. He writes about a time when he was in seminary. While on vacation, he visited a church where he “heard the worst sermon I could have ever imagined.” As seminarians are wont to do, he listened with a critical ear and located every wrong note in the sermon, concluding that the morning spent in church had been a waste of time.
Then – a woman turned to him at the end of the service and whispered, “He said exactly what I needed to hear.” The woman came with a need – and heard a message that helped. Young Fred had heard only the flaws. Was it really a terrible sermon, poorly written and badly delivered? Maybe. But the preacher did his best to sow the seeds – and found fertile ground in at least one hearer.
I don’t know – and neither does anyone else – who might really need to read that there is a church that honors doubting while in prayer. If they're out there, I hope they do see the UUA's ad, and think “maybe there’s a place for me there,” and check out one of our churches. And I will try to be less snarky about it all from now on.
Just for Fun: "Below is a list of the top 106 books marked as "unread" by LibraryThing users. Bold the ones you've read, star (*) the ones you read for school, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish. "
Now, for me - there are a few I wasn't certain of, so I italicized them. I don't have a clue which ones were for school or not, I often had novels assigned for undergraduate classes that I'd already read on my own. A couple on the list are on my "to be read" shelf... (The book in the chair is Kundera's Unbearable Lightness of Being, in case you were wondering.) And, may I just say, I'm surprised The Bible is not on this list of unread books???
...for a "story for all ages" for Memorial Day weekend. I've found children's books on Veterans Day, and non-fiction "how Memorial Day was established" children's books, no stories. Any suggestions? A UU connection would be a major plus!
Thanks.
**Update: Thanks to Bea (see comments), I think I've found a story! All three books she mentioned in her comment were "in" at the larger community's library. The winner is: "The Impossible Patriotism Project." The best part is that I think it could get parents talking to kids about what patriotism means to them. At least, I hope...
"The Wall" is a little long, though probably the most appropriate of the three for Memorial Day. It is, however, an excellent book. "How to Bake an American Pie"... In My Opinion, it's too cutesy without the saving grace of a good rhythm.
on my kid. This is the one who is terribly shy about standing up in front of people and talking. Speeches in classes are torture for her. Some teachers have allowed her to complete assignments by speaking to part of a class, instead of everyone, to help lower her anxiety level. Well...
Two Sundays ago she stood up in front of the congregation as part of the bridging service for high school seniors and spoke. Yes, her voice shook, and her statement seemed a little unfinished - but hey, she's unfinished too! Great job. For that alone, I'm very proud of her.
Then she knocked my socks off. A few days later, she had to deliver a persuasive speech in English class. She stood up in front of the whole class and told them that homophobic bullying was wrong - backing it up with statistics about students dropping out of school because of bullying. I'm sure it was six minutes of terror for her, and I know the teacher was concerned about what kind of reaction she'd get.
The reaction so far? Apparently, later that day in a different class, one of the students who heard her speech complained to the teacher when another student made a comment about something being "so gay;" and because he complained, the teacher reprimanded the commenter.
Kid's grade on the speech: 92%
Positive results so far: 100%
Mom's pride: immeasurable...
Can I get an "Amen!" for this faith that teaches our youth to speak out for justice?
And now, I'm taking a holiday from blogging for a bit. It's crunch time: papers, projects, presentations... Back in a bit!
It's a sign of the apocalypse, or something. My ultra-conservative congressman and I agree on something. Amazing. Shortly after it was submitted, I wrote to him, asking him to support HR 5825, the Hubbard Act. I received a reply today, and it turns out he's a cosponsor of the bill.
Have you heard of the Hubbard Act? It's proposed legislation to guarantee veteran's benefits to military personnel who separate before their tours of duty are over *because they've become the sole survivor of their family.* Sounds like a no-brainer, huh? Well - here's an article describing what Jason Hubbard has gone through. He and his two brothers were all deployed in Iraq. His brothers died. He was removed from the combat zone (military policy for sole survivors), and was honorably discharged after serving 30 months of his 3 year enlistment.
But then - the Army required him to repay a portion of his enlistment bonus, and told him that because he was discharged prior to fulfilling his original contract that he and his family were ineligible for medical and GI Bill benefits. Does that sound like supporting the troops? Please. I think this war is wrong - but for goodness' sake, I think the women and men who serve deserve the benefits they earn - and Hubbard has earned them. If you agree, contact your congressional representative.
*** I'm taking Lizard Eater's request seriously (go read her blog post). Not sure yet what my love through action deed will be, yet, but I'm staying alert for possibilites.
*** A friend is seriously ill in the hospital - lots of tests being done to try to figure out exactly what's wrong. Sal has been on the periphery of my personal life - but very active in district church stuff for women for many years. Needless to say, she's been added to the list of people I'm holding in the light - can you add her to yours?
Opinions expressed on this blog are mine, and mine alone. They do not represent the opinions of any congregation of which I might be a member or which I might serve in a professional capacity. As they are my opinions, you're not required to agree. Your Mileage May Vary (YMMV).
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To the right: Luxembourg American Cemetery
